Sandy Haired Memory
by Radical618
Summary: As Tara heads to San Diego, she's forced into confronting the reasons she's leaving the place she grew up and fell in love. Rated T for mature themes. Jax/Tara
1. Chapter 1

_Thank You for Visiting Charming_

Her eyelids closed as the yellow checkered cab took her out of the town she had grown up in. The town she had fallen in love with. Charming, California was the town Tara Knowles fell in love in. It had been a love full of faults and mistakes; hardships littered her memory. That feeling of doubt buried itself in the pit of her stomach, the way it did when she was doing something mischievous with Jax. Her senses heightened as those memories swept through her; the smell of whiskey, the prickling of a needle etching a tattoo against her skin, his breath against her neck. Her forehead hit the window; a slight grimace as a small 'thud' is heard. "Good thing you're getting out of here girl." The taxi driver couldn't be more right.

"That obvious huh?" Her lips were curled despite the thoughts on her mind. Her eyes popped open, the road already a one lane highway. It didn't take long once outside of Charming to hit nothing but tall grasses and mountains in the not-too-far distance. "Never really thought I'd be one of those girls who'd up and leave after high school." Then again, she seemed like the only one in her school who'd accomplish much of anything. "I'm not one to say no to a college education though," Her eyes followed the uneven stalks of grass outside the car before closing. "Mom wouldn't like that much."

The taxi driver gripped the steering wheel as the speedometer hit close to 80. He'd never been to college and didn't have much to add, but he could appreciate the young woman's enthusiasm. "World always needs more professionals. But don't grow up too fast now. Being an adult isn't all that fun. There has to be some fond memories you've got from growing up in Charming." The older man didn't like seeing Tara depressed. He wasn't from Charming, but had shuttled enough of the city's citizens over the years. He'd seen most of the kids in that town grow up just outside his window.

She shrugs with a sense of defeat in her actions. "Hardly," she blurts out at first, her eyelids refusing to open. Though she wishes she would, Jax's devilish grin, puppy dog blue eyes, and luscious sandy locks were plastered on her eyelids. "Well, I have – had – some good friends." If by 'good' she meant people who share the experiences of being arrested and getting drunk almost nightly then she had the best of friends. "We had fun." That statement was true. Their choices were poor, the consequences poorer, but she'd be lying if it hadn't of been a hoot.

Tara hears the driver poke and prod her for more details. She's not really in the mood to divulge much to the gray-haired driver. She knows he's familiar with the town, has been for years, but that didn't really give him the right to hear about the life she was running from. "It's a long way to San Diego girl," she hears him all but hum. It was recollect on the past few years or listen to him sing along to oldies on the radio. She'd take her chances on exposing her emotions.

"Alright, alright." She lifts her head off the glass and lets it fall onto the head rest behind her. "There's only one place to start when talking about Charming, and that'd be Jax."


	2. Chapter 2

_In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I-._

"Hey!" Her soft cover copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ flies through the courtyard as baggy jeaned boys in plaid bump into her from behind. "There's a person reading here." She huffs, getting up from her hunched position on a concrete step, which forms an atrium. After grabbing her book (her page now lost due to its being flung from her hands), she finds the boys who did this and freezes as she recognizes Jax Teller and Opie Winston. Tara freezes, her mouth open slightly and her arms crossing over her chest, her book sitting snuggly in the center of her chest. "Sorry." She mumbles and spins on her heel away from the older boys. She can hear them snicker as she finds her backpack and scuttles away. "Assholes." She says to herself when she's sure she's out of earshot.

She turns a corner and prepares for the lunch period to be over and is glad to be alone for the moment. Whenever Tara is around Jax and his friends she gets jumpy and hot. It's awful and she doesn't care for it much. She leans her back against the wall after removing her pack once again and fingers through her novel to find her place. Tara is an avid fan of bookmarks; losing her place is a nuisance and a waste of time. As she finds her place she happily finishes the sentence she was on, pulls out her tattered butterfly covered bookmark and places it in the crease. A satisfied smile reaches the brunette's lips, though it quickly dissipates as Tara sees the sandy haired boy across from her, mimicking her stance.

"What?" She snaps, shutting her book harshly so it echoes down the deserted hall. Again Tara takes a defensive stance, her arms crossing, her book held close to the center of her torso. Her snarl grows as she watches his smile curl. "Stop bothering me, Jax." Tara almost chokes on his name; she's fairly certain that's the first time she's used it towards him.

"That's a nice bookmark you got there," He pushes off the wall and struts over to her. His white Nikes drag against the concrete beneath him. "Never really painted you as a butterfly kinda chick but can't say I'm surprised I guess." His teeth are still apparent beneath a smile. Little golden hairs sprout from his chin and upper lip. Jax plants himself next to her now, their stances still identical.

Tara's silent for a few moments, unsure of if he's being coy or if he's genuinely interested in the disintegrating bookmark. "My mom gave it to me when I was in grade school, you know before she d-," she paused and looked away from his clear blue eyes. "Before she died." Tara rolled her eyes at herself. An older boy (Jax Teller of all people) was talking to her and the first thing she brings up is her dead mom. How attractive. "It's a nice little memento of her, I guess. She liked books to." She looks back up at Jax accepting that this was the last conversation she'd probably ever have with him.

He's about to respond when a bellowing shout of his name fills the halls. His eyelids close, a tightlipped smile finds his lips and he turns around without another word. Jax walks away, his swagger even more pronounced as he rejoins up with Opie. He takes a split second to turn back to Tara, still up against the wall, book pressed to her chest. The freshman's sure she sees the junior wink at her.


	3. Chapter 3

"Never had a lady win me over talking about her dead mom," the taxi driver's eyes glance over to Tara as she pauses. "No offense." He says, a gentle laugh in his voice. Tara's obviously grown since then. It's apparent she's not too sensitive to the passing of her mother, not in this context. The engine revs as the driver skillfully passes a slower vehicle ahead of them hoping he hasn't spoken out of turn.

Tara laughed, mostly because she knows the older man means well. "I was sure he'd never want anything to do with me ever again." Her head shakes and she shrugs her shoulders, this time with a little more enthusiasm. "Seems that wasn't the case." The smell of alcohol and cigarettes fills her mind again as she thinks of Jax. In the distance she swears she can hear his Harley humming in that way it always did when he passed her on the road. Tara can't help but smile, nor can the cab driver. Jax had a way of being infuriating, at yet charming as the city he was native to.

"Didn't really knew Jax all that well. I had a tendency to stay away from SAMCRO after John Teller left this Earth. Club never seemed right after all that." He didn't care to say too much, especially with the girl's ties to the club, but it felt like an appropriate addition to the conversation. "The younger guys seem like they have heart though. Maybe they'll guide the club in a different direction when they take over." His shoulders rise and fall as he ponders allowed, not knowing if Tara has any input on the matter. For all he knew, the young woman might not care all that much.

The brunette lets out a heavy sigh, her smile fading and one of her eyebrow rising as she thinks. Her hands writhe in and out of the other; she doesn't like to think about Jax's relations with the club. Being around those guys changed him. Hell, it changed her. "He'll make a great President one day," she pauses, a sardonic grin forming on her lips as she speaks further, "if he makes it there anyway. He has a knack for getting into trouble." Tara readjusts her position again, temple finding the window, hazel eyes meeting the sun as it starts its decent into the ocean.


	4. Chapter 4

Tara sat in the world's most uncomfortable chair, elbows on her thighs, head in her hands. Long streaks of sweat-soaked hair fell sloppily around her shoulders and arms. "God damnit." She hissed again, doing everything she could to ignore the cocky idiot sitting to her right. Jax was still donning silver handcuffs around his wrists. Tara hadn't realized how bad they reeked of weed and whiskey until this moment. She hated Jax for talking her out of a night in with her current read and in to a night out on his new Harley. And above all us, she had to vomit.

"Hey, chill out. My mom's gonna bail us out. Unser's not gonna let us spend more than a few hours behind those bars." Jax sat in his chair like this was a normal occurrence for him, as it definitely wasn't his first go around in the police department for drinking or for drugs. Unser and his crew knew all of Jax's excuses, which he refused to stop using. Jax would go through the list until he had to start over. He was about halfway through his third go around. "I've been brought in a lot. Not always under arrest but you know, warnings, shit like that." He leans over to Tara and bends closer to an exposed ear. "They just gotta make sure it looks like they're on top of their shit."

She swats a hand in the air at him. "You smell awful." It's more an attack than anything else, despite its truth. Tara wants Jax to know she's displeased with him for getting her arrested. Tara Knowles has been placed under arrest. "There's no way my dad's going to be able to pay your mom back you know." Her voice softened a bit. Ultimately this wasn't Jax's fault. She had decided to go with him despite the risk; with Jax Teller there was always a risk. That was probably why she liked him though. It was a dash of a life she never lived unless around him.

The air was thick for a few minutes as they sat in silence. Tara didn't know what to say, and Jax had no intention of opening his mouth more than necessary. He knew better than that. Everything would be held against him, not Tara. Charming PD knew she was one of the good ones in this town. This whole thing would be his fault, and he was prepared for that. He snorts at the thought of his mother's reaction. Gemma didn't like her boys making good girls look bad. Jax can feel Tara look to him as he laughs at himself and takes the opportunity to lock eyes with her. "This was one hell of a first date." He smiles, and she's pulled right back into everything she likes about him. His confidence, his street smarts, his toughness.

"Knowles, Tara." An officer calls. There's a camera facing a wall with black lines and numbers every inch. Somehow she stands up and doesn't get sick everywhere. She can see Jax grinning in amusement out of the corner of her eye. She walks over to the camera in anything but a straight line, and once she's situated she takes hold of the notorious placard that sports her name and case number. She swallows a few times to hold back her encroaching sick and finds the camera lens before hearing the officer call out from behind it, "Say cheese."


	5. Chapter 5

Tara's position had changed again; a smirk made its home on her lips and her forehead was in her hands. "My first arrest wasn't my greatest moment, but the thought of it is laughable now." The word 'first' tasted bad on her tongue. She wouldn't change any of the times she'd spent with Jax, but the fact that she had a record wasn't something Tara was particularly proud of. She side-eyes the taxi driver, who is also wearing an amused grin of his own. "I don't need a lecture. I've had plenty of those since then, you know." Brown, wavy hair finds the headrest as the yellow-checkered taxi zips along down the freeway.

"You aren't going to hear a lecture from me, girl. That's not my job as taxi driver." His shoulders relax a bit as he leans back against the seat, adjusting his mirror to accommodate his new line of sight. "You're moving onward and upward from Charming. If that doesn't say you learned some lessons I don't know what does." His smirk changes into a more comforting smile. He knows this journey is a tough one for the young woman. Tara has spent her whole life in this town. There isn't much she knows besides it.

She sighs, shrugging again but not offering anything in response right away. Tara knows moving away from everything she'd gotten herself into is what she needs, but she privately knows that one way or another, she's going to end up back in Charming. It's in her blood. It isn't a life she wants, but somehow she knows it's a life she's destined to have. "It's good for me right now, and when the time comes for me to make my way back home, I will." Tara believes that, and she pledges silently to honor it. "There's a lot of people in Charming who've helped me more than I ever thought imaginable," she lets out a huff of a laugh, "I'll reciprocate their kindness one way or another." Jax's warm smile settles in her thoughts. Despite all the bad, he showed her so much good.


End file.
